How to Get Your Cat to Stop Biting You

When I hear the word “bite”, I think about dogs. I mean, just look how many chew toys exist in the world! But not so much cats…usually. I will admit, though, there are times we bite. We bite when we are overstimulated, or trying to warn you not to do something. We might bite to get your attention, or when we’re playing with you. But apparently, at least according to my humans, biting hurts, and you humans don’t want us to do it. So I decided to give you some ways you can work with your cat if it’s biting you.

But how do you know if I’m going to bite? It’s not like I’m going to meow at you before I nom you. Some cats might hiss, though, or even growl (ok, I’ve been known to growl, but it’s so un-cat-like!) More often than not, I’ll fwip my tail back and forth, my ears will lay flat, my pupils may dilate, and I might move away from you. Those are my tells, and they’re gonna come in handy later, so make sure you remember them.

You know how sometimes you’re petting us, and it’s like we bite you for no reason? That has a name! It’s called petting aggression, and it can happen if you touch us in the wrong spot and/or you touch us for too long.

That leaves you with a couple options. You can NEVER TOUCH US AGAIN (which isn’t a good solution in my eyes), you can touch us and hope we don’t bite you (*evil laugh*), or you can help us learn that it’s cool to be touched. That last option sounds pretty good. Here’s what you have to do.

You find a time when I’m chill, and open to you touching me. So like not after I just woke up and you haven’t fed me, and not when there are a bunch of other cats around. You sit down next to me, you pet me a little bit…and you give me a treat (ohhhhhh yeah). Then you pet me a couple more times, and…give me another treat (see, I really like this strategy a lot). If I’m still cool with you, pet me a couple more times, and, well, you know what to do…GIVE ME A TREAT!

But then here’s the thing…end on a high note, and just walk away. The goal is to reward me when I’m tolerating you touching me. If I bite you and you give me a treat, well, then I learn that biting you means food for me, and I’m going to be biting you a lot more often. And how do you know when it’s time to walk away…? (this is when you remember what I said before about how to know if I’m about to bite you)

What about biting during playtime? I’m not big into this, but Mama will nom on the humans sometimes. She mostly does it when they’re being dumb, though, and not using a long enough toy.

See, your hand looks a lot like something us cats would hunt, so if you’re playing with us using a small toy, we may just decide your hand’s a much better target. Easy solution — use a different toy (like one that’s bigger)! And side note — don’t pull your hand away really fast if we try to bite it. Then we’re *really* gonna think you’re playing with us, and we’re gonna go for your hand even faster! Instead, make your hand go totally limp, like a dead fish (mmm, fish), so that we’ll lose interest. And then move your hand closer to me, because you know what live mice don’t do? They don’t run towards the thing that’s chasing them. You do that with your hand, and I’m going to get confused and stop trying to eat it.

The *most important thing* I can tell you about cat biting is not to be mean to us if we bite you. Don’t hit us, don’t smack us, don’t squirt us with water, don’t push us, etc. All that does is convince us that we gotta bite you more. But carry some treats around in your pocket, and when we do something you like, give us one. Basically, train us like you would…*shudder*…a dog. Reward us when we behave, we’ll realize that good things happen, and we’ll engage in that behavior more often.

Ok, straight talk. Sometimes, you’re gonna try all of this stuff, and give your cat treats all the time, and your cat STILL is gonna bite you. And as much as I hate car trips, I’m gonna tell ya that your cat might need a trip to the vet to get checked out. I mean hey, sometimes stuff happens.

Since I’ve done such a good job explaining all of this, I think it’s time for a nice reward, right? Isn’t that what we practiced? *patiently waits for a treat*

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